


Love, Life, & Loss

by Anonymous_Buddha



Category: Bleach
Genre: Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Illnesses, M/M, Shinigami
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 15:23:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3330758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_Buddha/pseuds/Anonymous_Buddha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jūshirō and Shunsui's last days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love, Life, & Loss

**Author's Note:**

> _Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Bleach world, which is trademarked and owned by Tite Kubo. I do not claim any ownership over them or the world of Bleach, nor am I making any profit off this story. The story I tell is my own invention and it is not purported or believed to be part of Tite Kubo’s story canon. This story is for entertainment only and is not part of the official story line. I am grateful to Tite Kubo for his wonderful stories about the Soul Society and Karakura Town, for without his books, my story would not exist._

Jūshirō and Shunsui were enjoying a late night pot of tea together. Jūshirō had joined forces with Shunsui’s Lieutenant Nanao Ise to bully Shunsui into doing his work for once. Nanao kept him under a tight leash in his quarters while Jūshirō promised him a night of relaxation if he finished his paperwork. The two together managed to keep Shunsui from having to be dragged back to his quarters to only twice. Usually he had to be dragged back minimum of seven times and it involved quite a bit of searching.

Shunsui watched Jūshirō through lidded eyes from across the table. Jūshirō was talking about his third seats Kiyone Kotetsu and Sentarō Kotsubaki’s latest clash, ending with both of them falling into the pond of carp he’d been feeding. Juu was chuckling into his teacup when Shunsui thought, _‘He is so beautiful.’_

“Shunsui, you are aware you are staring, yes? Not that I am actually complaining mind,” Jūshirō said, smiling softly.

Shunsui chuckled, “How could I not? You are the most handsome being I’ve ever met.”

Jūshirō laughed, “I am positive you say that to all the people you chase.”

Grinning, Shunsui replied, “No, not that I remember… No, wait. I did say that to my little Nanao once when she tried to drag me back to captain’s quarters for more paperwork. Flustered her long enough for me to get away.” He sighed dramatically, following it with another chuckle.

At this point, Jūshirō was laughing so hard he was breathless. He coughed a little, grabbing at his tea. Shunsui refilled it when Juu set the cup down again, keeping the smile plastered on his face during the momentary panic that always hit him when Jūshirō started coughing. He tried not to let Jūshirō know how much worry his illness worried him. He never treated Juu as an invalid or went out of his way to avoid making him laugh. Shunsui knew that while Jūshirō would never admit it aloud, it bothered him that people walked on eggshells around him.

Jūshirō calmed down quickly. He’d been in good health for months now. He smiled at Shunsui, seeing the worry in his eyes, but eternally grateful to his lover for not making it a big deal. They both knew his illness would kill him someday, but Jūshirō figured he had centuries, if not millennia before it got there. He also fully expected, and secretly hoped, to be killed in battle long beforehand.

Shunsui shook the pot, saying, “Looks like we’re out of tea. I’ll go refill it.” He paused at the door. “Sure you wouldn’t want some sake instead?” He had a mischievous look.

“Just go fill the pot Shunsui,” Jūshirō replied, shaking his head, rolling his eyes, and doing his best to look harassed.

Shunsui sighed dramatically before sliding the door shut, causing Jūshirō to smile. _‘After all these years, and he still makes my heart race,’_ thought Jūshirō. Memories of the past made him chuckle again. Suddenly his chest felt tight. He managed to get the handkerchief from his pocket to his mouth before the spasm started, coughing up blood into the material. Jūshirō’s eyes widened in panic. This felt different than his usual fits. This reminded him of the fit that ended in weeks in bed and snow white hair, and he couldn’t get the coughing to stop. Jūshirō started to feel weak from lack of oxygen. He let out a spike of Reiatsu (spiritual pressure) in a panic, hoping beyond hope that Shunsui, or anyone really, would find him fast and get him to Unohana. His eyes went black as he felt himself falling.

Shunsui was almost to the door when he felt Jūshirō‘s Reiatsu spike. He dropped the teapot and used Shunpo (flash-step) to get to and slide open the screen just in time to see Jūshirō collapse in on himself, gagging despite unconsciousness. He scooped Jūshirō up and used Shunpo to get to Squad Four barracks in less than five seconds. Seeing Lieutenant Isane Kotetsu he quickly asked, “Where…” Isane cut him off, quickly pointing to a bed, “I’ll get her.” Shunsui set Jūshirō down gently, alarmed that Juu’s coughing was almost silent, his chest heaving for air that wouldn’t come, mouth dripping with blood. Unohana dashed in. “Move!” she said, and Shunsui quickly complied, almost tripping over his feet in her wake. Isane brought him a cloth to try to wipe the blood off his kimono. He accepted, though in his vigil over Jūshirō he did not use it.

About an hour later Unohana sighed and looked up. The usually stone-faced woman looked exhausted and miserable. “Shunsui, I’m so sorry. There is nothing more I can do. He’ll wake up, but his next fit will be his last. I’d give him hours, a couple days at most.”

Shunsui stared at her, not comprehending what she was saying. ‘Hours? What? I… I can’t… I don’t understand!’ He stood suddenly and walked to Jūshirō’s side. Juu looked like snow marred by blood.

Unohana looked at them both, grief in her eyes. “Take him with you somewhere quiet and comfortable. Try to clean him up. Don’t leave his side. He’s going to need you before the end Kyōraku.”

Shunsui looked at her, tears forming in his eyes, before scooping up Juu as if he would break. Jūshirō’s hand unconsciously crept to Shunsui’s hair, causing Shun’s tears to overflow. “C-can you… his squad…”

Unohana touched his shoulder. “I will take care of the necessary arrangements. Just go and… be with him.”

Shunsui turned and walked out, going a normal pace in hopes to hold off the inevitable. Luckily it was still dark as he walked to his own quarters. He knew if he ran into anyone on the way, he’d lose was little control he had and knock half the area flat with Reiatsu. He had a little more control when he slid the screen to his quarters open. Nanao was sitting at the desk when he shut it behind him. Seeing Jūshirō, she shot up out of her seat. “Captain?”

Shunsui closed his eyes. “Little Nanao…” he whispered, voice breaking and tears spilling out, “…would you… draw the bath… please?”

Nanao’s eyes filled with understanding, then grief. “Of course,” as she bowed and exited the room, touching his shoulder as she went.

Shunsui carried Jūshirō into the bedroom and slowly peeled the bloody clothes off of them both. There was a moment of difficulty when he couldn’t get Jūshirō to let go of his hair. After a few minutes of whispering sweet nothings into Jūshirō’s ear, Shunsui managed to entwine their hands together long enough to pull off their remaining clothes, replacing Jūshirō’s hand when it was all removed. “Shun… sui…” breathed Jūshirō, eyes flickering back and forth under his lids. It wasn’t even a whisper. Shunsui would have missed it if Jūshirō’s mouth not been less than two inches from his ear. He smiled at Jūshirō sadly, cradling him in his arms.

Unohana had followed the two lovers back to ensure their safe, and more importantly unhindered, arrival. She snuck into the bath to speak to Nanao.

“This is it, isn’t it?” Nanao asked.

Unohana nodded sadly, handing her a packet of herbs. “Put these in the water. It will help them relax enough to get through this, maybe even enjoy each other one last time. It will help Jūshirō’s pain and weakness; keep him from having an attack for a while at least. I wouldn’t normally give it out for it can be lethal to someone so sick, but in this matter, I don’t really think it will matter. I don’t want to lose them both if I can help it,” she said, looking sad.

Nanao eyes widened in realization that Shunsui following Jūshirō was a real and likely possibility. She bowed her head long enough to get her expression under control. “Yes, Captain Unohana.” She did as instructed as Unohana left the barracks and then opened the door to Shunsui’s bedroom. “Captain, it is prepared sir,” she spoke softly into the darkness. “Is there anything else, anything at all?” The unspoken concern was obvious in her voice.

Shunsui closed his eyes a moment and took a deep breath. “Thank you, my little Nanao. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You can take off. I know where you are if I need anything.” His voice wavered only a little.

After only a moment of hesitation, Nanao bowed her head and left, though she only went a few rooms over despite the unspoken dismissal in her captain’s voice. _‘If he thinks I’m going out of range of his Reiatsu, he’s wrong. He does NOT need to be alone right now,’_ she thought.

Shunsui carried Jūshirō to the wide tub, sinking into the water so Juu’s back lay against his chest. He slowly began to wash away the blood marring Jūshirō’s beautiful pale skin and snow white hair, staining the water a slight shade of pink.

Jūshirō stirred, opening his eyes a crack. “Shun… sui…” he breathed, the coughing and gagging having stolen his voice, not that he had the energy to speak up anyhow.

Shunsui smiled, determined not to show his grief to Jūshirō. “Hey there, handsome. It’s nice to see you with your eyes open again.”

Jūshirō blinked. “Where…?”

“My quarters. What do you remember?” replied Shunsui.

“You went for tea. I had an attack. I vaguely remember Unohana’s face… It was bad this time, wasn’t it?” When Shunsui hesitated, Jūshirō said, “I see. How long did she give?”

Shunsui buried his face in Jūshirō’s hair before whispering “Hours. Days if you’re lucky.”

Jūshirō’s eyes opened completely. “Hours?” He tried not to sound panicked. “I suppose that’s why I feel so weak,” he said, attempting and failing to smile.

They are both silent for a few minutes. Shunsui continues to clean them both, careful not to let Jūshirō slide down into the water.

“Shunsui?”

“Hmm?” Shunsui nuzzled Jūshirō’s neck softly.

“Touch me… I want to feel you once again, see your face as you come. I want this to be one of the memories I leave behind.”

Shunsui looked at Jūshirō in shock, then grief, then smothered that with heat. “Jūshirō, I would do anything for you. But I won’t do this if you are doing it for me.”

“No. It will be for you in the end, but I need this now; to feel your joy. Please Shunsui.” Jūshirō was beginning to blush, his arousal obvious despite his weak state. He raised his arms behind him and wrapped them around Shunsui’s neck.

Shunsui nuzzled Jūshirō’s neck, kissing and nibbling his way to Juu’s ear. He whispered, “For a handsome man like you, how could I refuse?” as he slowly inserted his index finger into Jūshirō, causing him to gasp quietly.

“Ahhh… Shunsui…”

Shunsui slowly moved his finger in an out and then added another finger, drawing a moan from Jūshirō.

Jūshirō threaded his fingers through Shunsui’s hair, clenching them slightly. This drew a groan from Shunsui. He lowered one arm to prop himself on the tub, turning to kiss Shunsui deeply. He dug his fingers into Shunsui’s scalp, causing his eyes to fly open and gasp into Jūshirō’s mouth. Jūshirō probed Shunsui’s mouth with his tongue, enjoying the taste of his lover.

Shunsui had one hand wrapped around Jūshirō’s chest when he removed his fingers. He placed his thick arousal against Jūshirō’s entrance, causing Jūshirō to shiver in anticipation.

“Please, Shunsui. Now! I need you…” gasped Jūshirō.

Shunsui stole Jūshirō’s mouth as he slowly pushed in, letting Jūshirō adjust to his size. He ate Jūshirō’s moans like candy. He placed one arm under Jūshirō to get better traction, and then started slowly pumping in and out. Jūshirō eyes fluttered in ecstasy, his head falling back to lie on Shunsui’s shoulder. Shunsui sped up as he could feel them both peaking. He pressed his nails into Jūshirō’s chest and bit his ear, causing Jūshirō to pant.

“Shunsui…I… I’m close… Oh! SHUNSUI!” Jūshirō cried out as he came, Shunsui close behind. They rode the waves of pleasure, gripping each other tightly. With one final shudder, Shunsui pulled out. Jūshirō slowly turned around in the tub to look Shunsui in the face. Both had tears in their eyes. “Shunsui, I love you so much. I hope you know that,” he cried.

Shunsui wrapped Jūshirō in his arms, replying, “Not as much as I love you.”

They rinsed off and got out of the tub, Shunsui assisting Jūshirō to dry off. Slowly making their way to the bedroom, they collapsed into the bed facing each other. Shunsui covered them in his flowery, pink kimono, drawing a smile from Jūshirō. Jūshirō was tucked under Shunsui’s chin and wrapped in his arms. They lay like that for a while, talking softly. About the past, about Jūshirō’s fears, and sweet nothings until they both dozed off in exhaustion.

It happened about an hour later. Jūshirō woke to a tight feeling in his chest. Tears began to fall from his eyes and he reached for Shunsui’s face. Shunsui woke immediately, realizing what was about to happen and unable to do anything to stop it. But as he looked in Jūshirō’s eyes, he didn’t see fear. He just saw sadness surrounded love. Jūshirō slowly began to cough. Then the blood started. He began to shake violently and gag, unable to breathe, but still no fear. Shunsui wrapped his arms around Jūshirō as if he could hold him together by force of will, tears falling freely. He whispered words of comfort into Jūshirō’s ear as Jūshirō slowly began to still and relax. Jūshirō looked at Shunsui one final time.

“It’s okay Juu. Let go.” Shunsui smiled sadly. He’d never said anything so hard, yet so true.

Jūshirō’s eyes slowly closed, his body giving one last shudder before going limp. And it was that way that Nanao found her captain in the morning, wrapped around the body of his lover, crying softly.

...............................................

Shunsui lived for many years after, though he was never quite the same. He stopped drinking sake, only having it on the anniversary of Jūshirō’s death. He still smiled, but it was always rimmed with sadness. And unnoticed by all except perhaps Nanao, he slowly began to prepare his squad for his absence. It was about 200 years after Jūshirō’s death when Shunsui was cut down in battle. He took a blow to save his little Nanao, who cried as he died in her arms.

...............................................

Shunsui opened his eyes slowly. He was totally relaxed, surrounded by a familiar, yet unidentifiable smell. He felt the warmth of a body beneath his shoulders and head. The first thing he saw were cherry blossoms falling from the tree limb above. As his vision focused, he saw a man with long white hair and white captain’s haori (jacket). He smiled as he realized what the familiar yet unfamiliar smell was: his beloved Jūshirō’s smell, one he hadn’t known for 200 years. Shunsui reached up and touched Jūshirō’s cheek, smiling with all the joy and love he had in him.

“Oh Shunsui, I am so proud of you. Thank you for living on for me.” Tears filled Jūshirō’s eyes; tears of pride, tears of joy, and mostly tears of love. He slowly bent over Shunsui’s face. And they kissed…

...............................................

Jūshirō’s letter to Shunsui…

_If you are reading this, then… Oh Shunsui, I am so sorry. I never meant to leave you, I promise. But I need you to do one last thing for me if you can. I need you to live on. I need you to spread the joy you gave me to others. Including yourself. I need you to be happy. Not right now, but eventually. And know if you ever feel love for another, that it’s okay. In return, I promise to wait for you on the other side, no matter what’s on the other side. I will wait an eternity and longer, so promise me. Promise me you will try to live on. I love you Shunsui, my beloved. I’ll be waiting…_

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment with errors, additional tags, or really anything. Love compliments, listen to critiques and advice. Just don't be hateful please, my fragile sensibilities might break. Thank you everyone!


End file.
